therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
