Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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