You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
