So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
