I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
not ubering you a puppy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
