not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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