You smell like stripper and shame
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
