all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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