Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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