The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
