that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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