I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
