I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize