We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
