It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
