Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
