guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
