If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize