No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
True strength comes from lack of pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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