I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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