Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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