Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love you. Go after that dick
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
