isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
