Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
