I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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