How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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