Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
