You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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