Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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