This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is Oprah even human
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
