I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
