Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
