he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
