I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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