Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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