I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
