Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
