Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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