Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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