Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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