Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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