farters have to be the big spoon...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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