i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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