There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize