I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
