Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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