I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
