There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize