I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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