lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
