Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
