Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
