you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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