Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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