Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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