A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
