this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
