Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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