we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
