I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
