new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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