Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
