if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
