:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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