so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
